Monday, October 4, 2010

Asshole Monday:

Fucking White People...

I found myself with no assholes to write about on this Asshole Monday but lo and behold, when I arrived to work this morning, there was an asshole present waiting in my inbox.

Let me say that this is not my inbox. Since I am a temp, I don’t have email just yet but I do have the email of the conservative 54 year old white lady that used to sit here at this computer. So I get her emails instead of my own.

I have gotten such gems titled “White People Need to Rise Up,” “Arizona is on the Right Track, “ and “Religious Freedom is Ruining Our Country, Everyone Should be White Christians!” Okay, that last one wasn’t a real email subject, but that is pretty much the gist of what they all say. If you are not white or Christian, I am terrified of you.

So today I open the inbox and the first unread message title was “Freedom is Not Free” and Asshole Monday was revived.

Geez. Apparently, Old Lady (54 is not old in the least, but I am just going to call her that instead of using her real name, you know, to be respectful) is a member of the Tea Party of Mississippi. Heh.

I am not going to be political, I know very little about actual politcs, but I do know that the Tea Party is crazy and I also guess that the Mississippi Tea Party is not only crazy but probably racist.

According to the email, the Tea Party of Mississippi needs funding. Excuse me while I point and laugh…

So they sent out an email with the aforementioned title to raise funds for homophobic racists so they can buy 400 thread count white sheets and 2 x 4s to make crosses that they can then burn. And posters puff painted with “God Hates Fags” don’t pay for themselves, people!

If any of you would like to read the email, here it is:

Dear Patriots,

The time has come where The "Tea Party of Mississippi" is running low on funds necessary in order to continue to operate in this hostile political climate we find ourselves in. We don't have a regular income, or pledges to fund our operations. We depend on freedom lovers like you, and other volunteers to make this organization work.

We would like to remind everyone that "Freedom Is Not Free". We respectfully ask patriots to send us a tax deductable donation. Any amount you can spare will be greatly appreciated. These funds will be put to a good use to help educate those how the government has grown beyond reasonable limitations.

November the 2nd. is near. Our tasks are numerous. Without sufficient funds, we are limited in what we can do. Help us beat the entrenched politicians who have forgotten Congress is bound by the Constitution to say within its limits as envisioned by our founders.

You can send them to: Tea Party of Mississippi at
PO Box 2061 Southaven, Mississippi 38671
. Or, if you prefer, you may use the PayPal links on our site's Main Page, donation link. We are tax exempt You can keep your check as a receipt. A receipt will be mailed if requested.

Thanks in advance as we know you can be counted on to help.

The Board of Directors for The Tea Party of Mississippi.

Haha, at “Freedom Lovers” because Geez, all liberal non-Christians hate freedom. I know I do. And, really? Freedom Lovers? You only want yourselves to be free to do whatever you want but everyone else can either convert to your way of thinking or they can go to hell, which is where they are going anyway.

And Freedom is Not Free? Actually, it is. The definition of freedom is “The quality or state of being free.” So suck on that, freedom lovers. But I am sure what they actually mean by that statement is “Get a better paying job or be sentenced to death.”

I personally would like for the freedom loving Tea Party of Mississippi to receive no donations and to be forced to suck dick for coke, but I know this won’t happen. It’s the south and angered bigoted white people will give money to anyone that promises to obliterate opposition to their own way of life. But, please, please, for the love of sweet baby jesus, don’t give that money to poor people. Poor people are the worst.


Peezy said...

Oh sweet! A PO Box address. *googles mail bomb instructions*

Stacey Garrett said...

If only they gave out a phone number as well...

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