Halloween, Bitches!



My parents live here. They are damn near 60.

As everyone that knows me is fully aware at how ridiculous my dad is for Halloween, I come to you with a question: What should I be for Halloween?

No, these are not my parents.

Dad goes full out balls crazy for Halloween and this year he doesn’t want to hand out candy. He wants to be managing the crazy around the house and making sure that everything works properly, scared children are in fact scared, etc. So he asked me to hand out candy, which I am fine with doing. However, he wants me to dress up.

I am not one of those pussy bitches that gets all “I don’t want to dress up, wahhh…” no, I love dressing up. I don’t care if I look like an idiot. I love Halloween and everything that goes with it, but I don’t know what to dress up as. It is going to need to be something scary or semi-gory. There will be no sexy maid or sexy nurse or sexy janitor or whatever the fuck it is bitches dress up as these days. It will need to be something inventive and semi-horrifying.

So costume ideas…go.

Dad actually wonder aloud last year, "Where can I get real bones?"