Thursday, May 12, 2011

This week on Facebook

"Only the most top-of-the-line technology at my job."

Oh the Grizzlies posts from Monday night! It might have been because they went into three overtimes, but the statuses were non-stop and clogged the whole news feed the entire night and most of them were play-by-plays and no fun and some of them were funny:

- I wish Playa Fly would parachute down from the rafters and "Crown" Kendrick Perkins.

- May sound crazy but if I had a d*ck that last play woulda made it hard.

‎- "Don't let Memphis win." -David Stern

- Okay, seriously Grizzlies. Either win or don't, I've gotta go to fuckin' sleep.

- if this goes to 9 overtimes, everyone will be fouled out except a 2 on 2 battle of Ish Smith and Hamed Hadaddi versus Royale Ivey and Byron Mullens for the game.

- Great. 3 OT's and we lost. Y'all could've lost at regulation so I could've gotten more sleep. Good game though.

I did bitch about this, the infinite number of statuses during a 3 overtime basketball game, however, when they lose quickly and badly, not only are the statuses damn near nonexistent, but they are far from upbeat:

- Welcome back Grizzlies of old. Wonderin when y'all were going to show up.

- I don't believe Memphis.

- Alright, the crowd in Memphis better bring it Friday.

- Wow sometiiiiiimes I hate basketball

The best possible way to post and exercise status: In case any of you were wondering, Couch To 5K is more of a bitch than 8 bitches in a bitch boat. So exhausted...

I will award a couple of internets to the first person that can translate this nonsense, posted by the same person because I just can’t with any of this:

"been a horrible day4 me @ 1st but nite it end up n great 1 instead of my boyfriends ex getin 2me i got 2her. found her weak spot.even her friends, law would laugh n her face. who would b retard enough 2 some1 cal law on some1 over what they believe in,"

Why is it ppls go crazy over love? why does make you crazy alone you go crazy? is it cuz your that crazy in love with one person or could it be the feelings of hurt and happiness has mad you that crazy to where you only want to love that one person.? well im a sucker for being crazy in love with my man. i want the whole world to know i am crazy in love with samuel buzard

WTFITOFB (Why The Fuck Is This On Facebook) -   

Ok so seriously now my blood sugar is going haywire.... another run of blood work on Friday to see if I have to get tested for Diabetes.... what is going on here????? Then I go back in June for my heart.... what else can be wrong with me.... so young and handsome...... That was pretty much my favorite type of fb status to make fun of and I will now tell you why: Look. I get it when people share health information on fb. I really do. FB, though ridiculous, is still a great way to keep people informed. You just throw it up as your status and everyone knows. That is honestly what it is for. That being said, this is not an informative medical status, this is a “Woe is me” it’s also a “Look at me” and an “Everyone feel sorry for me.” It’s also fishing for sympathy and compliments. It’s also way too much information beforehand. Blood sugar issues are not uncommon. It could be diabetes but he is a few tests away from ever knowing that, yet did that stop him from throwing the word “diabetes” in there? No, no it did not. So we have fishing, woe is me, attention whore and a preemptive disease diagnosis. It scores on so many levels and I am not even counting the “handsome” comment because…no.

Statuses done Right:

- Today, on this mother's day, I am thankful my mother doesn't have a Facebook page.

- if it wasn't for my mother than I probably would have died in that dumpster. Thanks MOM!!!

- Tweet of the day. What's hanging lower, Laker fans heads or Khloe Kardashian's balls?


- Bin Laden: we shot him in the face, threw him in the ocean, and now we're going through all his shit. America is fuckin' gangsta.

- Anybody wanna go half on a baby?

- I'm a do me so hard I get pregnant, will I have another me? That's a trick question.

- why do we have to wear pants to work? Life would be so much easier if everyday was super wicked casual days. Except fatties, you must wear pants.

- Tooth starting to hurt again. Left legally prescribed lortab at home today. Anyone have some heroin?

Until next week my favorite FB Dickheads and if there anyone you would like to call attention to it be it good, bad, or incomprehensible, send it on.


D.P. said...

So I got represented 6 times. 7 if you count the one you posted twice.

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