Asshole Monday: Turning 30

Stacey! Stay this age. FOREVER.

Yeah, so I will be 30 tomorrow. My only reaction to this so far has been, “…” That’s all I’ve got. My reaction is to have no reaction. I don’t feel 30, though. Most days I feel either 16 or 46, depending on how much sleep I get and how much I have had to drink. And if we are going by my Wii Fit age, I am currently 42.

I think back to when I was about 17 and I thought 30 just seemed SO OLD! It’s not, at all, but I thought it was. There was also a perception I had in my mind of how 30 was supposed to be and where I would be when I turned 30. So here are the things that 17-year-old me thought people were “supposed to” have by the time they are 30, let’s take a gander at which of these things I actually posses, shall we:

A Career: As I have said before, I have a college degree. I have one that took quite a while to get. Not because I got a masters or a doctorate or even majored in anything difficult, it just took me a while because I had a job and I also lacked that thing that people have to get though college, motivation. My only motivation was to be done with school forever, so I did that and got myself one of those degree things. But just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you are using it. So I don’t so much have a career as much I just have a job. So, fail on that one.

Children: Nope and, kinda, yay! If I had had kids when I was intending on having kids, I would be in a much different situation now and I am very much grateful that that didn’t happen. But I thought I needed kids at one time, so fail, once again.

A marriage: Again, negative on this one. I had one of those, I just failed at it. However, I don’t so much see it as a failure when two people see that something isn’t working and instead of sticking it out to be miserable forever, we parted ways and on good terms. That doesn’t happen often and seeing as how I still have a good relationship with my ex-husband I am going to call that whole marriage thing a draw. But am I am married like I thought I should be? Nope.

A home: Ha. That is funny. Yeah as we all know, I live with my sister and her family. It’s an ideal situation for everyone involved but, still, I am older now and I should probably be on my own but that isn’t happening any time soon. Plus, it’s kinda fun. And this way I get to have children without sacrificing my body. But, no home to speak of over here. Fail.

Money: This is actually funnier than me having a home right now. Money is something I am convinced I will never have again. I am not so much fine with this as I don’t really have any other choice but to fine with it. Am I as successful and wealthy as I thought I should be? Not even close. F-ail.

So I have none of these things and I will be 30 in less than 24 hours. Do I feel like a failure at life? Kinda. Do I care? Not really. As everyone has told me since July of 2009, “Things can always be worse.” I went through almost two years of being told that and then, things kept getting worse. That is when I realized that people are wrong. Just when you think that things can’t get any worse, they usually do. That being said, things are finally starting to look up. Win!

No, I don’t have a career but I do have a job which is more than some people can say right now. I have no children, but I do have two nephews that adore me and who I can borrow at any time when children are needed (Seeing Toy Story 3 twice in theaters, playing with Play-doh, coloring, not wanting to eat in public by myself, etc.). Nope, not married and more than ok with it. I don’t have a home to call my own, but I do have a sister that lets me stay in her home and eat her groceries and use her hot water for free. Money is a whole other story, but I am not going hungry or homeless or without clothing anytime soon. I need much more money than I have, but I am getting by (not really).

So, yeah, I will be an old as fuck failure tomorrow, according to 17-year-old me, but 17-year-old me wore halter tops with bees on it with high-waisted-mom-jeans, so what does she know?