Friday, June 24, 2011

Who Says I have no Content? (Everyone)

Yesterday was a very momentous day for me and it for sure needs to be a blog topic that everyone cares about...I got contacts!

It’s been about a year since I’ve had contacts, and they were really old contacts that were only supposed to be worn for two weeks and I ended up wearing them for three years (I am not the only person that does this, right???) and now thanks to vision insurance I have new contacts! Yay!

No more glasses glare! Woot!

But yeah, I do look weird without glasses. Or, as Garrett tells me, “You look really, kinda, scary.” He breaks it down for me pretty honestly every time. If I ever have a question about anything, it usually ends up with him telling me I look fat. Before I can even get the full question out, not matter what that question is, “…you look fat.”

As weird and/or scary as I look, it’s nice to be able to see again and to read street signs without squinting and see red lights miles before I get to them and who knew trees had leaves on them?! Insanity. So yeah, I am now writing about eyesight…

Instead of asking me, “Why are you blogging about this?” Maybe you should be asking yourselves, “Why am I reading about this?” Yeah. I'm just writing things down and you dumbasses are actively choosing to read this nonsense. Who is the real moron here? ...I just made you think about that for a second, didn’t I?

I've been told time and time again that I have no content and no one cares about my nephews and that's true for the most part. There are a select few that do, though. And if there are about ten people out there that actually enjoy reading them, then that’s good enough for me. Christy gets to read (there is a possibility that she has since stopped reading) about what her children do when she is not around. Everyone wants to know that and I see a side of them that she doesn’t get to see. It's pretty cool. These are memories frozen in time, people! (if you got that reference, you’re cool)

Do you know how many memories I have that are blurry as fuck? A lot and we didn't have a video camera or anything fancy, so a lot of my memories are damn near gone.  Now the boys have the ridiculous shit they do written down. In detail. For all the world to see. One day that might be cool to them? I don't know. It’s doubtful but it can't hurt, right?

And I read a lot of blogs. Blogs of people I don't know but whose lives I actually care about. It's weird as shit, but yeah. So someone that does not know me, may think my mediocre life is entertaining? I don't know, I doubt it but you're the one reading this…

I mean, I know that no one really cares about the details of my life in the grand scheme of things, but I just happen to think I am very funny and that someone out there may be entertained by my brand of low-brow humor. Bloggers are nothing if not self-aware, I may be a dickhead about a lot of things and I am for sure a much larger asshole more than I care to admit, but I am funny, you can’t disagree with that (you can). So you may think my blog sucks (yes) and that I am kinda terrible as well but…

of course you do! Why wouldn’t you? I have a blog for chrissakes. That’s pretty much a given. If blogging wasn’t completely self-centered and absurd, Mother Teresa would have a tumblr, “Fuck Yeah! Good Deeds!” but as it stands now I write for the masses (twelve people) and if it bores you…why are you still here???


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