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Monday, November 22, 2010

Asshole Monday: Postponed for Things I Actually Like



I am skipping Asshole Monday this week. It’s Thanksgiving and as I have gotten older and less greedy (not really) I have found Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday right after Halloween.  Thanksgiving is all about being thankful or some shit, so this week I am going to try and be positive. And I only have three posts this week since I am off Thursday AND Friday, WOOHOO! So I think I can be positive in three posts.

Positive News: Memphis isn’t even in the Top 10 of the most dangerous cities in America. We are # 12, you guys! That is a milestone if there ever was one. Let all Memphians rejoice right now. We aren’t #1! We aren’t #1! We aren’t #1!

I will also be including throughout the week, things I am thankful for/ things I like. So let’s start off with a few of those (no, you won’t see anything sentimental here):

Fizzl'd Fruit Skittles - What I am about to describe right now sounds disgusting for sure, but trust me. Okay, they’re regular skittles but with like a pop rocks coating on them but they aren’t pop rocks. The coating is kind of salty but mixed with the sweetness of the skittles, it kind of balances out. It’s good stuff. They are so weird no description could do them justice. They are my current favorite candy and, as we all know, that is a big honor.

Cursing – I like it. Shocker, I know. People get offended but I will never understand why. They are just words. I have heard some people say that cursing is lazy and inarticulate, well fuck you. You can’t deny the versatility of most curse words. I make that shit work.

Falafel (here, so you don’t have to ask what it is) – Since giving up meat, this has become my FAVORITE! Along with a veggie sub with everything from Lennys, and a small veggie burrito with everything from Booyas. My dinner, when nothing is being made at home, consists of one of those three things. And my favorite of these things is falafel. I heart falafel.

NERF guns – About a year ago, last Thanksgiving actually, I was just standing in the kitchen minding my own business when, from out of nowhere, I was hit in the face with a rubber ended Styrofoam bullet. Do what, now? Seconds later I was covered on all sides with both adults and children wielding plastic NERF guns. Where the fuck did these come from? This was the time when my sister and her family were living with my parents. Dad bought the guns for the boys, yet he bought four of them when there are only two children. Since then, NERF guns have been a staple at every family function. No matter what day it is, what you are celebrating or doing, you probably won’t survive the day without getting shot.  A few days ago I had the boys for a few hours while Christy and Ron were gone. I was downstairs with Whitman and we were “playing guns.” It was a full on fight to the NERF death. After at least an hour of running around the house, dodging bullets, sneak attacks and ambushes, Whitman and I both sat down to “rest a minute,” and Whitman breathlessly said “This…is….awesome…” It really, really was.

Community – I am pretty sure I am mix between Abed and Britta. Watch the show and you will see what I mean. See what I did there? I intrigued you enough to want to watch it! Sneaky sneaky.

That's it for now, more coming througout the day/ week. Enjoy, you guys!





2 comments:

The Mean Beene said...

I'm thankful Stacey writes an entertaining blog to kill my time at work.
I fucking love Britta (see what I did there).

Stacey Garrett said...

Actually I don't see what you did there...am I missing something? Am I stupid?

And thanks, man. Love you. I am so glad we're friends.

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