Thursday, November 18, 2010

Text Sickness and the Women it Hurts

Today is as good at time as any to confess to the world that I have text sickness. It is probably not a real disease but it should be because I for sure have it.

I left my phone at home today and I thought I was going to have a panic attack when I finally figured this out. I was too far from home and too close to work to go back and get it. And The Collierville is too far for me to go and get it at lunch. It would take at least an hour and I don’t love buying gas all that much. So my phone will have to wait. Sigh…

Usually, to make sure that I never forget my phone, the first thing I do when I wake up is check Facebook (I know) and then put my phone in my bag. Then I take the next 15 minutes to get ready for work and then I leave. Yes I get ready in 15 minutes, this should shock no one. Showering and I are not best friends.

However today while I was staring at a closet of clothes that I hate and debating whether or not to check the other closest, I checked the weather on my phone and then put the phone back…somewhere. I thought I threw it back in my bag. I didn’t. Dammit. I am now one lost, lonely asshole.

So text sickness…

I have gotten better about texting and driving. I try to not do it unless the text is important (because, duh, texts can be important. Okay, fine, an example: Christy will text me to pick up a kid or something. I need to know that and I need to respond so she will know I got it, you see? Important texts). But ignoring a text is NOT easy for me. At all.  

If I know I have a text waiting to be read, I have to read it. Immediately. I know it’s there and it is probably nothing that can’t wait until I reach my destination, but I have to know what it says. Have to. Most of the time when I am driving I am hoping to be stopped at a light so I can both read the text and quickly respond, so sad. What have I become?

I am not even going to start thinking back to what life was like before I had a phone. I was a late cell phone getter and I didn’t get one until 2000, and that was way before texting. Did I actually call people? I refuse to believe that I picked up a phone and called a person. I am pretty sure that phone was nothing more than a monthly billed watch. I only communicate via text and because of this I have lost the ability to speak on the phone like a normal person so it baffles me that there was a time when that was all people did was talk on the phone.

I am pretty sure that when I get home I will have nothing new of importance that I couldn’t have done without today. It will probably just be sitting there with several texts from several people laughing at me for forgetting my phone. But that doesn’t mean I miss it any less. I feel like I have forgotten everything like my glasses or my bra or my ponytail holder. It’s awful.

What is really fucked up is that I keep reaching for my phone, knowing it is not there. It’s like when the power is out and you turn on the bathroom light even though you know the power is out. It’s a learned response and it’s making me sad.

I love you, Veronica Mars (yeah, I named my phone, suck it). Mommy will be home soon.


Sherrie Bee Bop said...

I forgot my bra a few weeks ago. That sucked :/ I mean, my boobs are perky enough that I can easily get away without a bra. And I was wearing a thick, ribbed sweater that disguised my bralessness rather well. But it was cold that day. VERY cold. And I only wear bras that are slightly padded to prevent walking around with Jennifer Aniston nipples all the time.

Stacey Garrett said...

I see no issue with having a visible hard nipple. It is inappropraite for work, yes, but in every day living, I see no problem.

Case in point (heh):

Sherrie Bee Bop said...

Bahaha, not only do I see what you did there with the point pun, but lol @ your nipples on FB.

I see nothing wrong with having two hard nipples. But I do see a problem with having one hard nipple. I mean, that happens sometimes and it's no big deal. In private. But I wouldn't want to walk around with one hard and one ... soft? Is that the correct term? I mean, it is when referring to dicks, but what about nipples?

Stacey Garrett said...

I am pretty sure that is the correct term. Or if you want to be precise you can say "pert" which is a pretty fun word to say, I think.

Yep, my nipples are on Facebook. I didn't even realize it until someone said "So it's cold there, huh?" or something along those lines. But yeah. Nipples. All over fb. I'm fine with it.

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