Carnival Food: In Yo Face, OBESITY!

Oh, Memphis, I love you but I don’t even know what to do with you sometimes…

I am speaking now in disbelief about Carnival Food. Yes. Carnival Food.

I didn’t know this place even existed until I went to see Black Swan at the Cordova Malco and BAM Carnival Food! Right next to Humdingers (no clue what Humdingers is) is a restaurant called…Carnival Food.

Guess what they serve?

It’s run by a local couple that also has a food truck they take to flea markets and carnivals and such. Support local business. Eat Carnival Food.

And, to my surprise, there is more than one Carnival Food in the Memphis area. There is also one on Covington Pike in Raleigh. Two Carnival Foods in Memphis. And, apparently, the one in Raleigh has been there for SEVEN YEARS! How did I not know about this? Did anyone know and just not tell me?

Also, anyone else besides me like “Huh?” and “Really?”

I detest fairs and carnivals of any kind. The last fair I went to was the Delta Fair a few years ago to see the Avett Brothers. Other than that, I avoid them at all costs. Back in the day I loved a corn dog and a funnel cake but my hatred of the general public kept me from ever attending any event that served these things. Not any more.

Need to see a menu? Here you go.

Did I eat there? No, I did not. But I won’t lie and say that I don’t kinda want to. If anyone out there wants to go with me, I would be more than happy to review the restaurant and let everyone know if the funnel cake really is the best in Memphis, as the reviews say. Which leads me to the question: How many funnel cakes can you find in Memphis year round? It can’t be that many.

If anyone does choose to go with me, let me know days ahead of time so I can prepare myself for nothing but grease, fat and sugar. And I will also need to take a few days off after that for feeling like complete shit after ingesting all that nonsense, but I think for a good funnel cake, it’d probably be worth it.

Also, do you need a year-round funnel cake delivered to your house? They do that! It’s carnival food that gets delivered to your home should you be too fat/ lazy/ feetless from diabetes to get up and drive yourself to the actual restaurant. Carnival Food has you covered. Do you need a deep fried Twinkie? Oreo? Snickers? They have all that too and they will bring it to your door. Hooray for obesity.

I also need to go to this place to find out one very, very important answer to my many questions about this place: Do they have cotton candy?

Update: I checked. They have both cotton candy AND candy apples…Let’s. Do. This.