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Monday, December 6, 2010

Asshole Monday: Christmas Car Decorators

Those are some sweet ass fuzzy dice though...

I am being a huge asshole about Christmas this year. I don’t know why I just don’t want to deal with it. Usually I am fine with Christmas, I have always hated Christmas music and the over decorating but I like Christmas as a whole. This year…not so much. I won’t go into all that.

Call me a Grinch or Scrooge or whatever, I don’t care. I have been called much worse than a fictional character from seasonal entertainment. Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me…probably because you aren’t as witty as I am.

Also, everyone seems to forget that in the end both the Grinch and Scrooge both loved Christmas. They all had huge Christmas woodys by the time the story was over. So, really, they were just in a bad mood for a lot of years probably because people drove their SWHOVs around Whoville with a fucking wreath tied to the grill.

It’s not Christmas that I hate it’s people that I hate, which is not news. To anyone. Ever.   

I can not understand what moves certain people to decorate their cars. I don’t understand the constant need to surround yourself in pine-scented merriment (I do love the smell of a Christmas tree) all the livelong day. And you just know there is a wreath on their cubicle at work. It’s enough to make me want to choke a mother fucker with garland.

Today I was driving into work and I was behind a car with reindeer antlers sticking out of the back windows.  My first thought was, “Is it Christmas already? Holy shit! I did not know with all the decorated street lights and holiday ads and tree stands and Salvation Army Santas and nativity scenes featuring Santa standing over baby Jesus. Thank you, on-top-of-it SUV lady for the reminder.”

My next thought was “Fucking-a, I hate people.”  

3 comments:

Snoballz said...

I think reindeer antlers and red nose would look good on the Honda.

Stacey Garrett said...

Negative. The Element is far superior to such nonesene.

Holly said...

My boss has antlers and a red nose on her CRV. I will say no more as this is a public forum.

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