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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Wednesdays have been given new meaning - You're Welcome

So Daniel and I have designated Wednesday to be our book review day. So every Wednesday, there will be (hopefully) two book reviews. I know a lot of my readers (read: 3 people) out there that couldn’t care less about a book review so you’ve been warned. But if you want to use your brain and read books and become a better, more attractive person, maybe you might find a book to read on this here blog.

Ideally we will be reviewing 104 books of varying quality and differing target audiences. Daniel reads a bit smarter than I do so I have no doubt that his picks and reviews will be far more intelligent than my own. But mine will probably contain the word “Fuck” many, many more times so who is the real winner, really?

In honor of Book Review Wednesday (snappier title coming soon, taking suggestions), I have chosen to review a book that does NOT count towards next years Cannonball experience. To give everyone a taste of how I, a partial moron, reviews books. The title of all review blogs will be the number book we are on and then the title of the book (what a concept!). And what better way to kicks this off than with one of my favorite books of all time:

#0 - In Me Own Words, The Autobiography of Bigfoot. Words and Pictures by Graham Roumieu

How did I even find this gem of a book, you ask? Two words: Morgan Beene. I have no clue how she heard about it but she told me that it’s the funniest thing ever and you just have to read it. I trusted her and I bought it on Amazon years ago and I have loved it and loaned it out to anyone that will take it ever since.

I am not sure how good I will be at explaining this book to you. It’s labeled a graphic novel, but it’s not all that graphicy. It’s kind of like an adult children’s book if that helps any. Anyway, it’s genius and hysterical.

It’s about…well it’s the autobiography of Bigfoot. I don’t know how much simpler I can break it down for you. And since it is told in his own words (hence the title) and I have to say that Bigfoot sucks at grammar.

Surprisingly, Bigfoot is pretty cynical: "Me once believe in good. Now, no. World go shit, like Bigfoot screenwriting career."

Also, he doesn’t exactly love living in the bushes: “You think I want live in bushes? ‘Oooh wood so pretty’ they say, ‘Like Walden Pond. Nuts and berry in abundance.’ Bigfoots ass abundance.”

There are all kinds of things that we didn’t know about Bigfoot. Like, he has a glandular problem and that is why he is so big. Also, he hates Chewbacca, they have a longstanding feud. And I bet you didn’t know that Bigfoot has a cat named Craig and he was in a socially-conscious grunge band named The Tinkles.

He has also been in a slew of movies without anyone knowing, mostly appearing as Shadowy Figure in Woods, but he was a production advisor on Harry and the Hendersons.

If you have ten minutes to spare to read this book, give it a whirl. It’s just a whole lot of ridiculous crammed into a few pages. You won’t regret it. And if it doesn’t put at least a smirk on your face, then you aren’t human, you filthy disgusting robot and I don’t care what robots think.

9 comments:

Peezy said...

Oh yeah, I remember reading that when you brought it to work one day. I knocked it out in 10 minutes but it was hilarious.

Also, you might want to explain WHY we're doing the book reviews on here. Have you explained the Cannonball Read thing yet and why they insist you have a blog to post your reviews on?

The Mean Beene said...

Bigfoot is me hero.

Stacey Garrett said...

Durr, I have already done all that in previous posts. And, let's be honest here, it's not like I am getting all kinds of new readers every day that don't know what is going on here. We should be fine.

But if anyone has any questions, go back a few posts, it should clear everything up for you.

Snoballz said...

"Have you explained the Cannonball Read thing yet and why they insist you have a blog to post your reviews on?"

Why do Cannonball Read insist you blog about it?

Also, Wednesday would be a much better day for video game or DVD reviews since they are released on Tuesdays.

Stacey Garrett said...

Chris, I am ignoring you because I know you don't care. And if you would like, you can totally do a DVD and/or video game review.

Snoballz said...

Although I could care less about reading a book a week (or a month, or a year), my question was sincere. I truly wonder why: "they insist you have a blog to post your reviews on".

No trolling, no hidden agenda, just curious.

Stacey Garrett said...

...so people can read your reviews...Does that not make sense? It's pretty cut and dry.

Snoballz said...

Not only do you have to read a book every week, you have to write a report about it to?

Peezy said...

Book reports! If they like your review, they'll post it on their site and blah blah

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