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Monday, December 27, 2010

Asshole Monday: New Years Eve


What am I doing New Year’s Eve? Oh, you mean Friday night?

Out of the 365 days in a year, I don’t think there is a more overrated one than New Year’s Eve. Am I right?! I would rather celebrate Valentine’s Day than New Year’s Eve, and that is saying something. At least Valentine’s Day has cool candy!*

It gets built up throughout the whole year (admittedly not as bad as Christmas) to be this excitingly awesome night where you ring in the new year (which I am fully on board with) and you have this awesome time and everything is just awesome. Yeah, not so much.

I have yet to have a NYE that lived up the hype. I have had some fun on NYE, don’t get me wrong (I am thinking about writing about a few of the best NYEs that I have had, but I am trying to figure out how to go about that without incriminating people, also, it’s been a hell of a time trying to remember them fully) but none of them have been as awesome as they are supposed to be.

You go buy an outfit, make grandiose plans, attempt to involve certain people all to what??? Go out like you could any other night of the year? It’s just another day, people.

Maybe I am just a lame person (I totally am) but my past few NYEs have been spent doing nothing and I have been fine with it. I don’t understand the draw and I think I am at the point where I am too old to give a fuck.

I currently have no NYE plans and I am perfectly fine with that. I have no issue with ringing in the new year passed out at 10:00 by myself. It would be a fitting end to this year.  My night will probably be spent watching my rocking new TV and  Bluray player from my awesome parents watching people die horrible deaths in high definition. I plan on winning New Years Eve, yes.  

However, New Years Day I do plan on doing cartwheels (like I can do a cartwheel) and doing awesome air kicks (can’t do those either) now that the godforsaken shit-filled year that was 2010 is now gone. If I can just have to make it a few more days without losing my mind or any more gray hairs popping up…

2011 has got to be better, right? Right?

*Look, NECCO Conversation Hearts, you had better get your shit TOGETHER this year. I am not fucking around with you. Last year you put out some nonsense conversation hearts that had actual flavors! NO! How dare you mess with one of my most favorite candies ever by giving them a flavor! The only flavor they should taste like is the color they are. Yellow should taste like Yellow. Orange should taste like Orange, not AN orange just the color orange. And what was really stupid is that you didn’t even offer the original along with your shitty flavored garbage. Smooth move, ex-lax! If you don’t go back to the original recipe, NECCO, I will be forced to make the switch over to Brachs permanently.  You’ve been warned.

5 comments:

Peezy said...

Well....way to let NECCO have it.

And I can't get on board with this blog. New Years Eve is awesome. You're a negative nancy. We're having a party at my place. It will be a blasty blast.

Snoballz said...

I've pretty much given up on going out on NYE and leave it to the amateurs. True professionals, such as myself, need no excuse to go out and have a good time.

I've always wondered who ate those crappy Necco hearts.

Dusty Nelson said...

I have to agree with Snoballz. NYE and St. Patrick's Day are for amateurs. If you want to see trashbags puking all over the place and yelling at their girlfriends just find yourself on Beale Street on one of these 2 days.

Stacey Garrett said...

In my experience, you can find these things on Beale Street any day.

The Mean Beene said...

Brach's is where it's at bitch.

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