Monday, February 21, 2011

Asshole Monday: Inconsiderate Assholes

Damn right, she is. And so am I.

Whenever I venture into the outside world, I am usually confronted with assholes of all sorts. They usually don’t warrant an entire post to themselves like some people but I feel they deserve a mention so I am just going to group them all together in an asshole category of the worst kind:

Inconsiderate Assholes.

Do you ever sit and wonder why you suck at life? It is probably because you’re an inconsiderate asshole. Really, just be considerate of other people, whether they are strangers or not. Just consider OTHER PEOPLE in your every day actions of indifferent fuckery, for example:

Having a shopping cart is a privilege. There are some third-world countries where you can only buy what you can carry out in your arms! (I just made that up, it may or may not be true) So when I see people just not giving a fuck where they put their cart after they have wheeled their groceries to their car, it makes me sad furious. Are you really that big of a lazy piece of shit that you can’t walk your privileged ass on your working legs a few feet and put your cart back? You do realize that someone has to come behind you and deal with what you deemed yourself too important to fuck with? YOUR cart that YOU pushed around is now someone else’s problem. Bravo dickface.

If I owned a gun (I should never and will never) I would probably only use it to shoot people that park in handicapped parking spaces that aren’t handicapped (and have no one handicapped with them) in the leg so they would then have a reason to park there. You’d be handicapped with a shattered knee-cap right? I don’t think there is a more despicable human being on the planet than someone that parks in a handicapped spot and then walks on their two legs away from their car all able-bodied and shit. Shot and killed they should be.

I understand that parents want to teach their children things, I really do. And I also applaud a parent that takes the initiative and teaches their children whenever possible. Bravo. However, you should NOT take the time while you are at the self-checkout register on a busy Sunday afternoon at Kroger. There are other people sighing loudly behind you that don’t really care if your child learns anything ever. They need to get home with/ to their own children so they can read to them, or watch PBS with them, or teach them how to make meth, or whatever. So while I think you are kind of awesome for being patient with your child and teaching them everyday math, I also think you kind of suck for it as well so if you would please get on out of my way so I can check out with my Sprite to take home to a sick 4-year-old. Thank you.

For the love of Pete, hold the door for a person that is less than two feet behind you. It is not that hard.

Say “Thank-you” when someone does something nice for you when they don’t have to. Like holding the door open, letting you over in traffic, picking up something you dropped, etc. All you have to do is express a thank you whether it is verbal or in a hand gesture. That’s all. So simple and so rewarding for everyone. Someone took a few seconds to help someone they don’t know, can you not express that same courtesy for that action?

I have at least 253 more of these but these are just the ones I encountered on my one trip to the Collierville Kroger yesterday, the best and largest Kroger I have ever seen with my two eyes. I had to share them while the hatred for humanity was still fresh.

I realize that me asking people to take two seconds out of their super busy day for someone they don’t know is a little ridiculous, but my point is: You don’t have to be an asshole. There are simple ways to make you a better person and not such an asshole. No wonder everyone hates you.


Sherrie Bee Bop said...

DUDE! If this is the Kroger @ Houston Levee and Winchester, I was totes there yesterday, and I was bitching to someone else about how there is no happy medium with grocery stores. Either you go to a ghetto one and everyone is all inconsiderate (like that one bitch... a few weeks ago, saw me walking down the main aisle with my cart, I'm talking looked right at me, then just stepped in front of me and stood there so I had to go around her. We exchanged words, but I wanted to exchange her face with my foot). Or, you go to one in a nice part of town with uppity yuppity preppy boy bitches and they all think they're better than you and their shit don't stank, so they just do as they please (like the 3 BMW suv's, all of them black, in a row who backed out right in front of me as I was driving down the aisle just looking for a place to park.)

Oh well, at least my cashier was nice.

Holly said...

I could not agree more with this entire post. When people do not take their grocery carts back, I think they are the laziest sacks of sh*t on earth. I mean, really. What kind of jerk doesn't care if someone else scratches up his or her car on the cart they were too lazy to push the 10 yards (tops) to the nearest cart thingy.

Also, when people do not hold the door, I think to myself, in the words of my husband, "you ain't got no home trainin." The same goes for saying thank you. It's just common (or now, more uncommon) courtesy.

I got a thank you note today from a lawyer that seriously made my day. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. Saying thank you to someone just makes that person feel good, so people should just do it. It's seriously as simple as a quick "thank you" or wave (the equivalent of a car thank you). Sidenote: when people do not wave at me when I have done something nice such as let them out in traffic or into my lane or whatever, I want to shoot them.

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