Why is this a real thing? Oh. That's why.

So this exists.

It’s a break-up notifier for Facebook. It may or may not be a real thing. I don’t know. I just know that it has a website that you can go to and it was featured on the tosh.o blog. Also, if it’s on the internet it HAS to be real, right? Right!

I also know that it is super creepy and way sad.

How it works is (if you are too cool to click a link, I will break it down for you) you choose fb friends that you have somewhat of an interest in that you can’t quite send an unwarranted fb message to just yet since they are in a relationship, and then when they change their relationship status to “Single” it notifies you so you can then commence with your poking or a nonchalant message about their latest hilarious status.  

Wow. I don’t even know what to say here, but has that ever stopped me before? Negative.

Facebook has already taken stalking to new, wonderful levels. Everyone Facebook stalks and anyone that tells you they don’t is the world’s biggest liar. That is what it is there for. If you don’t use Facebook for stalking, you’re doing it wrong. Facebook is the driving by people’s houses of 2011 because gas is expensive.

Also, a drive-by doesn’t really tell you a whole lot. There could be a strange car in the drive but what does that mean, really? It could be anyone and unless they have a license place holder that has their name, address and social security number on it, what does that even tell you? Nothing. A fb check-in? That tells you EVERYTHING!

So to everyone that is about to download the shit out of this notifier (if you download it, not sure how it works, I don’t so much care) I have a few words for you:

Don’t.  

I guess I didn’t have that many words after all. This kid knows what I’m talking about.  

Update: I had a feeling this thing didn't work and lo and behold, it doesn't. I have to say that I am a bit relieved.