Thursday, February 17, 2011

Laundry Day: I do it for the fans...

Stacey. What up?!
People tell me that I should be a writer. Okay. That is all well and good, but come on. I am not the best writer. We all know this. There is no way I will be famous or well known or even regarded for writing, but it is something I enjoy and I want to be better at it and that is what I try and do with this blog. I am not winning any awards here but I entertain myself and a few other people and that is more than enough for me.

In every creative writing class I have been in, they teach you to write what you know. It’s the best story-telling practice and you find that you can stem something else from it. I write a lot about myself here already but that’s more of the day to day. But what do you really know about me besides; boobs, candy, Halloween, hatred of cereal milk, detests Jersey Shore and I read a good amount of books? Not a whole lot.

Like did you know that my dad played drums in a honky-tonk band for years? Or that I catered weddings when I was 10-years-old? Or that my sister ran over my foot with her bike on purpose? Or that I once did a mock radio show that was all captured on tape when I was 12? I bet you didn’t…which brings me to a new column titled...

Laundry Day* - tah dahhhh!              

It is going to be exactly what you think it’s going to be. Airing my laundry and not just dirty laundry but the clean stuff that’s been moth balled and put away for a while. I am putting it all out there for the world to see. I get asked a lot where did I come from meaning; “How did you come from this family???” Maybe we will find out, who knows? There is a world of possibilities with this.    

I will try and post every Thursday but these may take some time and a lot of thinking and a lot of picture scanning (damn you time period before digital cameras!) so it may take longer than a week to come up with them which is why Laundry Day is so appropriate…

I do laundry, seriously, once every three weeks, maybe.  It’s only me and I don’t have an entire loads worth of laundry for a while. It’s less than that in the winter when clothes take up more space and it is a lot longer than that in summer. I can go at least a month in summer. So this column may or may not appear every week. A week may be skipped here and there but they will come around often.

A few words of warning: Some of you WILL appear in these. I won’t speak ill of you, I won’t divulge anything incriminating and I won’t use anyone’s last names. I would also be glad to change your name completely if you’d like. Also if any you of plan on being president, I need to know now so I can prepare to be supa famous when this blog is uncovered in 30 years.

Laundry Day will include childhood crushes (real and celebrity, and with the exception of the ones I would rather not own up to, they probably know who they are and I would rather not relive that shit), middle school, high school, stupid high school bullshit that I was involved in for some reason though I think I kept drama free for the most part, but not all together. College (Crazy Dorm Night, WHAT?!). My time living in the dorms. All kinds of shit. Every story I have (most of them, some of them should never be told) I will share. If I think you may care if this shit gets out about you, I will let you know beforehand. But I promise, to those of my friends and family out there I won’t air your laundry out, I swear. It’s just about me. And to my family, I promise not to shame you all too badly.  

As for those people that I don’t really care about either way, I can’t say you won’t be shown in a somewhat unflattering light. There is a reason I don’t like you... I’m just saying, and that may or may not come out, but names will be changed to protect the innocent (me).
Now I want no one to forget that all the old emails and stuff I used to send out back in the day...I kept them. All. So you may be seeing repeats of those as well of our stories. They should be nothing short of hilarious (Before there were blogs, I wrote emails to my friends. Long emails. And they started in 2000...when I was 19. It should be good stuff, my 19th birthday, anyone? Anyone?). Prepare yourselves.         

Skeptical Daniel is skeptical

And now for the really exciting part: Daniel is going to join me! Hurrah! Lots of you don’t know who Daniel is. We used to work together (yes, I will be hashing out work stories, i.e. Ellie Mae, my time in the warehouse, etc.) and we have remained friends. He is really cool and he is also a writerish type person like me so I shot him the idea, he liked it and agreed to do it with me. So you get to find out everything about me and Daniel. How excited are you right now? I know, I know. I am too.                        

Why am I choking Daniel? Will the world ever know?

So now every Thursday (sort of) you have Laundry Day to look forward to. You will get to know everything there is to know about the two most talented writers on this blog (read: The only two writers on this blog). And Daniel and I will get much needed writing practice for our eventual live of fame and fortune. Everyone is welcome. Seriously, you are all so welcome. Stop thanking me, you’re embarrassing me.

Daniel isn't really a ninja...or is he? Tune in to find out!

*Daniel came up with the title, I take no credit.


D.P. said...

I really am a ninja.

Stacey Garrett said...

Daniel! You are supposed to keep them guessing! You just shared your best stuff...

Holly said...

I heard your 19th birthday was an amazing night. That's what I heard, anyway, as we all know that I have very few, very hazy memories of that night.

Also, I totally forgot about those long emails. You were like the forerunner of blogging! I bet there are some gems in those old emails!

Stacey Garrett said...

Oh Holly, how sweet of you to say so. I am pretty sure that those emails are full of incomprehensible nonsense, but we will see. It should be entertaining, to me at least.

And Holly if I recall correctly, my 19th birthday was the night you walked around the Pike house with no shoes on, eewwwwww. And then you went to work at Hallmark!

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