Or Tuesday, whatever.
I had two for today and I sure did forget one. So maybe we should make Extreme Forgetfulness at the Age of 29 (ugh) an asshole as well (working on Memorial Day should also be an asshole but I won’t say that, at least I am working).
Before I start: Yes I know it is bitchy to call a child out for being an asshole and I don’t care. Moving on…
To say I don’t get stares from children would be a lie. I do as I am sure most people who look a little less than normal do. Maybe to Collierville two heavily tattooed people (I am in no way heavily tattooed by today’s standards but in Collierville, I am) standing in line at a local burrito joint is something awe-inspiring that merits a good stare-down. I don’t know. But to this 10-year-old it was the most amazing thing she ever did see.
It started the second Michael and I walked in and went to the back of a sort of long line. We stood there, minding our own business, when this child turns around. She was at least 10 with long, blonde Pentecostal hair and the face of a deranged elfin pug (hey, there are lots of ugly kids out there, don’t you judge me!). From the second we lined up behind her, she started staring and she did not stop the entire time. And she wasn’t just staring, she was giving us a bad case of Stank Face.
Now if this girl would have been older, at least 16, I would have said something. A 16-year-old should know better (really, a 10-year-old should know better). But she was youngish and I would have felt the slightest bit guilty making a child cry. At first. But by the end of my encounter with this entire family I would have reveled in it. At least that would have taught her not to stare because she is obviously not getting that lesson at home. Yeah, I said it.
Staring is just terrible fucking manners. I won’t say I don’t get caught staring from time to time, everyone does but once I get caught, I look away. Not this kid. I held her gaze for what felt like minutes and she never looked away. Just continued staring with her dead Children of the Corn eyes with probably one of the most disgusted looks I have ever seen on a child’s face. And when I say she stared us down for at least ten minutes, I am not exaggerating. Just staring without a care in the world which creeped us out and made me very uncomfortable. Rude.
This girl’s problem is more than likely her father. Her boat shoe wearing dick of a father. I know from experience that controlling just one child in public can be a handful and he had three to deal with but of the three he had, one had a staring problem and one climbed on the counter and screamed for a drink over and over and over again and when given a cup, he destroyed it. The third child, I’m guessing the middle child, was perfectly fine (credit where credit is due). But I am going to say this particular father is one of those that is far too concerned with his own shit to care about anything his children do.
Like when he took a few minutes to convince the kid ringing up his order that two days ago he left a full to-go cup at the drink machine thing so he needed a free drink now since his one from two days ago was wasted…really? Did that just happen??? Who does that? Boat shoe wearing Colliervillians with asshole children with terrible manners, that’s who.
*Note to everyone: if you Google Image “staring” you get a bunch of pics of dudes staring at tits. Color me unsurprised.