This week on Facebook

Two, count em, TWO good pics this week. Thanks to Jason and Daniel:



5'5, 200 pounds + cocaine dealer = marriage potential

  And this one really needs no commentary or anything, really...



A link that I thought was a pretty stinkin’ good one. Thanks for your insomnia, Dave! I don’t know what else I would look at at 3:00 in the morning when I can’t sleep.

We really need to talk about horoscopes, as in, why do people post them? I don’t even read my own horoscope, why on earth would I want to read yours? I don’t. And to the people that post horoscopes: Has anyone ever actually commented on it or liked it or acknowledged that it was there? Probably not, huh? Maybe there is a reason for that? Think about it.

I've made mistakes being a mom,sometimes more than I'd like to admit.However, I will always be there for you,to hear you,to cheer you,to laugh or cry with you, to protect you with my life,& sometimes tell you things you don't want to hear.I will love you for eternity with all my heart.No one will ever love you more than I do,I'm your Mom!I love you very much Haley and Lily Grace!Hope everyone has a Blessed week! – But can you be there to teach them where the space bar is? Maybe let’s work on that first? It’s the long thingy at the bottom of your keyboard. It makes spaces. Look into it.

IG reader and friend, Stovall quit facebook a while back but he pops back up from time to time because, let’s ALL be honest here, Facebook is hard to give up: I hope this status is cool enough to get posted on "This Week on Facebook". -- I only want the fame and notoriety of becoming a featured post on "This Week on Facebook". That is all. My hope is that my return is not in vain. – Stovall knows that if he panders to me, he will OF COURSE get a mention. Take notes, people. Ha! (And, also, if I had a post called “Texts from this week” Stovall would be featured there as well for his text in response to me telling him that he is the oldest hipster I know, “I remember back before there were hipsters.”

FB Statuses Done Right:

- There is nothing like the power of Fuck You!

- The theme song to Phineas & Ferb is the worst thing in the history of ever. It's like having ebola-AIDS in your ears. It's the Holocaust of TV show theme songs.

- It’s been awhile. Epic fail list. 1.Anyone who uses Facebook for pity. 2. My Epic fail list. 3. My phone automatically logging me on to chat. 4. People who ask to follow them on twitter (except @douchefactory, I bet you dont know who that can be). 5. Gay porn. Unless it’s two girls. 6. Dinner photos. 7. Maturity (its overrated) 8. Not wearing a fedora. 9. Picking on someone your own size (look out children and the elderly).

- You need to get hope in brain, and get dope outta of veins. Bountiful Blessings.

- Hockey: dudes with ice skates.

- Mayonnaise: its what's for dinner.

- Fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

- if I were a magician, I would probably just go ahead and kill myself. They are just professional liars.

- waking up at 4:30. Epic fail. Getting to watch Revenge Of The Nerds. Epic Win. I love those nerdy bastards, reminds me of Coach Pastner.

- I'm sorry that Jesus died for my sins, and I swear to God it won't happen again.

- I learned one thing today and that one thing is I want a wheelchair. The stunts I could do on one of those bastards. It would be the bees knees

Last week on Facebook

As always if anyone has anything or anyone they would like to publicly call attention to, let a bitch know