Wednesday, April 20, 2011

You're Welcome Theater: Half Baked

It’s 4/20 so in honor of this most excellent of days, I am picking Half Baked. And, also, I love this movie. Truth be told, this is easily one of my all time favorite movies and I would lying if I said I haven’t seen it upwards of 50 times. 

"50 times?!?!"

What’s that? A movie where no humans die (RIP, Killer) bloody in terrible accidents or by alien, zombie-making worms? I know, right? I am mad versatile, yo.

“So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.”
I will run down the plot for you quickly, but everyone should have seen this movie at least once in their lifetime and if they haven’t, I just kind of feel sorry for you: A group of pothead friends join forces to sell weed to bail their friend Kenny out of jail after he accidentally killed a cop’s diabetic horse by feeding it various stoner snacks like celery, red popcorn, pizzas, a whole lot of water, peanut butter, graham crackers, grape jelly and what was that stuff? We used to eat it all the time back in the day???... It’s a pretty cut and dry plot and, like most movies I will be reviewing, the plot doesn’t matter. The clip above (I have figured out how to post vides, GO ME!) is one of my favorite parts in the movie. Truer words were never spoken and I giggle every time I hear it.

“You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill... on weed? Oh, there's some crazy shit, man. There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.”
It’s just a very funny movie. Should you watch it sober? I am going to say no, you should not. I never have so I can’t tell you what that experience is like, but I am thinking it wouldn’t be the optimal viewing experience for this movie.

“What part of Jamaica are you from?”
“Right near da beach”

Half Baked also has an admittedly underrated, very funny cast. Dave Chappelle really can’t do a whole hell of a lot wrong ever, especially when he is talking about weed. And Scarface remains one of my favorite movie characters of all time. When Guillermo Diaz appears in anything, I get a little excited and I usually end up yelling “SCARFACE!” at the screen while I do a small happy dance. Also, everyone in the movie seems like they are just having a great time making it, you know? Sure, they may all be stoned while making it, but you can tell they all enjoy the ridiculous writing and the stoner jokes and everyone is just there to make a dumb movie and have fun with it. A good time will be had by anyone that watches it, I promise.

The doctor said I need a backiotomy

You know those movies that you watch and all it does is remind you of you and your dumbass friends watching the movie together and being ridiculous? That is what Half Baked does for me. It reminds me of a simpler time in Lynnfield when I didn’t so much give a fuck about anything ever and I just sat there with my pals and drank frozen drinks and painted kitchens hideous colors and made disturbing vulgar word arrangements with fridge magnets. Those were the days, and Half Baked takes me back to those days. Ahhh to be young and really, really stupid again…

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, and fuck you, I’m out!”

Age I would let my nephews watch: They could watch it now but they would probably be pretty bored with it and lose interest quickly. If nothing is blowing up or no one is being murdered and there are not car chases or wizards or dragons or whatever, they don’t so much care to watch it.


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