Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You're Welcome Theater: New Shit

Okay so I watch a lot of movies which should surprise no one. I employ all forms of movie watching be it Red Box or Netflix or whatever and, unfortunately, not every movie is a winner. In a better effort to inform you people of good and bad things I am going to give you a run down of the latest new(ish) releases that I have recently watched.

I am going to leave my thoughts, feelings, praise and hatred for each movie with no plot synopsis. If you are interested enough in the movie and don’t know what it is about, click on the title and that will take you to Pajiba and you can read what they said about the movie and you can get an inkling as to what it is about.

Buried: I really wanted to like this movie and for a movie about a shirted Ryan Reynolds buried in a pine box, they did a lot with it. And I think it would have liked it had it not been the most upsetting movie I have seen in a long time. But Ryan Reynolds rocks the shit in it, abs or no abs.

Due Date: It has Robert Downey Jr. in it. I should just stop right there. You need to know nothing else. It is, of course, exactly what you expect it to be but it was funny and it has my boyfriend RDJ in it (and my mistress, Zach Galifianakis – I like chubby dudes…). Go ahead and watch it. I doubt you will regret it. It won’t change any lives but it’s fun.

Love and Other Drugs: Never watch this movie. I had higher hopes for something that Anne Hathaway was in but I was severely let down. I realize it is a shitty romantic comedy but I do like her and I am going to go ahead and reconsider my love for her after watching this piece of shit. I couldn’t even make it through the entire movie and I was crocheting and doing other things. Meaning, I couldn’t even have this shit on in the background. It was that bad.

127 Hours: I don’t think I have been this uncomfortable watching a movie since Black Swan. And if you don’t like James Franco (how could you not like James Franco???), you may want to avoid it altogether. For everyone that knows anything about this movie you can pretty much tell why it’s so uncomfortable; you are waiting for the one part that you heard about. And it is a long wait. Not quite 127 hours long of a wait, but a long wait nonetheless. Solid film. Hard to watch.

Case 39: Sigh. As much as I want to like a story about a really fucked up evil child who persuades people to kill others, I just couldn’t. I blame this in large part to Squinty McSquints and the Emutard (yes, emu) that starred in this piece of shit. You can go ahead and watch it if you must, but it’s pointless and terrible. But it is a cautionary tale to never have children.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story: Before you get all “Hey, Zach Galifianakis is in it, it has to be funny!” let me tell you that it is not that kind of movie. It is a “funny story” but it could also very well be a “quirky kinda depressing story.” That being said, I kind of love it but I like quirky, off the beaten path kind of shit. I have a feeling that lots of fan of Zachs (first name basis and his last name is long) would be bored to tears with this movie. I liked it and if you have a predilection towards quirk and mental hospitals, it’s for you.

Winter’s Bone: This is not a bad movie by any means but it is going to make you feel bad in general. You could also look at this like “Hey at least it isn’t me…” kind of thing, because this is an upsetting ass movie. A good one but not one that I am in any hurry to ever watch again, ever.

Exit Through the Gift Shop: Be warned this is a documentary. I like documentaries, lots of people don’t. I thought it was great and super interesting about something I thought I would never be interested in and that is street art. Since I am pretty much on the internet all day I see all kinds of images that I am like “Hmmm….where did that come from?” and a lot of it comes from street art. More than you might think. It’s worth a watch and I was skeptical at first as well but I ended up really liking it.

Catfish: Holy potatoes was this a damn good movie. It is another documentary but for someone that is on Facebook more than I care to admit, it really made me think. And don’t let anyone spoil this for you so I will tell you nothing more. Good movie. Great modern documentary about all the fuckery that gets carried out on social networking sites. Everyone should watch it.

So there you go. I hope it helped someone out there to not rent or waste their time on a truly awful movie. I do what I can around here.

And if anyone has any suggestions on movies I should watch next, you know what to do.


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