Saturday, March 26, 2011

He'll be Crushing Ass in No Time

Garrett is about to lose his first baby tooth and I am about to lose my mind. I realize it is very, very silly to get overly emotional on something that:

A. Isn't even happening to my kid (I don't have any of those)
2. Is something trivial that happens to everyone
III. Is just a tooth.

They just grow up so fast! I remember when he was shitting in his pants and crying his face off when I held  him for the first time. Now he can reach things that I purposely put out of reach, like my toothbrush which he refuses to stop using. I remember sucking boogers out of his nose with one of those blue suction thingys and now he is picking his own nose and wiping his boogers on me. True story.

Let's all go take a look back at Garrett when he was a very little baby with no teeth to lose. I know that I am only remembering him fondly because he was a wee baby and he was so snuggly but he really was a horrible baby. He never slept and everything pissed him off. I am glad that he can now speak and hang out with me and wipe his own ass (well, we are working on it). But, still, it doesn't feel like he should be almost six and needs to grow about another foot to be as tall as me. Sigh. Anyway, look at this cute baby:

He was the best baby snuggler ever but I assure you seconds after this picture was taken, he was a wailing, inconsolable dickhead.

The majority of his baby pictures when he was a newborn are of him sleeping because if you were to take a picture of him awake, he would surely be crying.

His first Halloween. This was his "hanging out" costume. He had two costume changes. His other outfit he was an octopus. Guess how much he loved that one.

His first trip to the zoo in a stupid outfit.

His first puppy kisses in the same stupid outfit.

His first time in a pool in a redneck hat.

His first birthday and his very first "excited face" after seeing the awesome wonder of helium balloons for the first time.

His second Halloween with his second least-favorite costume.

His first foray into an inappropriate ball humor.

His first time dressed like a girl.

The first time he realized how infinitely cool a box can be.

His first time finger painting which, to him, mean painting his actual fingers. And yes that is his first Hello Kitty tattoo on his left arm.

And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, who can forget his first Red Vine? I know I can't.


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